Let’s Talk About Sex Toys: Enhancing Pleasure in Your Relationship

Sex toys have become far more mainstream, yet some stigma remains that keeps couples from openly embracing their use. Whether you’re looking to spice things up or overcome issues with desire or orgasm, sex toys can be a game changer for your relationship. Let’s have an open, judgment-free conversation about the many benefits toys can offer.

1. Pleasure is Good for You!

Before we get into specific ways toys can enhance sex in relationships, let’s start with the premise that pleasure is a good thing. Orgasms relieve stress, help you sleep better, and boost your mood. This is just as true for partnered sex as solo play.

In a world full of responsibilities and stress, pleasure is nourishment for your soul. You deserve to prioritize playfulness and joy. Sex toys can help you tap into the sensual side of life. There’s no shame in using tools and technologies that amplify pleasure.

2. Overcoming Taboos

If you still feel some hesitancy around sex toys, you’re not alone. Many of us were raised with taboos around masturbation and “aids” for pleasure. But attitudes are shifting dramatically as people recognize their benefits.

Owning and using sex toys does not mean there is anything lacking in your sex life. You simply enjoy expanding your horizons. It’s no different than using toys during any other activity you enjoy. Consider letting go of any outdated assumptions that may be holding you back.

3. Enhancing Partner Play

Far from replacing a partner, using toys together builds new levels of intimacy. A toy cannot provide the laughter, moans, emotional connection and creativity of partner sex. But incorporating one into your lovemaking can open new pathways of mutual pleasure.

Some great starter toys for couples include small bullet vibrators, massage wands, and couples' vibrators designed to stimulate both partners at once. Hands-free wearable vibrators allow for intimacy while enhancing stimulation during intercourse. And couples' cock rings promote stronger erections for all partners.

Take time outside the bedroom to explore options together. Shop at woman-centered, queer-affirming retailers. Read reviews and discuss what piques your interest. Start with something simple. Be fully present as you integrate toys into sex. Pay close attention to reactions. Switch up who uses the toy. The shared vulnerability and delight will strengthen your bond.

4. Overcoming Desire Differences

In some relationships, one partner desires sex much more frequently. Solo toys can help bridge this gap. The lower-desire partner may enjoy using a wand vibrator or pulsating suction toy while the higher-desire partner participates as a viewer.

Scheduling intimate toy play is another option. The lower-desire partner may not crave sex consistently but can still derive pleasure from occasional toy use together. Using toys during scheduled sessions meets both partners’ needs.

Each partner using toys independently also reduces pressure on the lower-desire partner. The higher-desire partner can fulfill cravings through masturbation with strokers, sleeves or prostate toys. Finding compromise is key.

5. Achieving Orgasm

For people assigned female at birth, orgasming from intercourse alone can be difficult without clitoral stimulation. Strong external vibrators can help achieve climax during partner sex. Using these together promotes her pleasure while deepening intimacy.

Men who experience erectile difficulties may benefit from toys like cock rings or pumps for erection help and stimulation. Rather than causing shame, using tools to enhance function builds confidence. Fulfillment becomes the focus over specific acts.

6. Toys for Exploration

Some couples enjoy adventuring into new erotic terrain like BDSM or role play. The world of sex toys provides props to facilitate this sexual experimentation between partners.

Before delving into new activities, discuss boundaries, safety and comfort levels. Allow each other space to articulate needs without judgment. Recognize some attempts may flop, but the insight gained brings you closer.

The journey of discovering new passions together far surpasses the destination. Embracing toys means embracing creativity, fun and continuous learning about your relationship.

Prioritizing intimacy and pleasure is essential for your health and bond. Through openness, patience and love, integrating toys can unlock new dimensions of your sexuality.

Ready to explore sex therapy and couples counseling in Minnesota? Schedule a free, 15-minute consultation here!