I’m Nicolle Dirksen, M.A. (she/her),
Sex and Couples Therapist in Minnesota.
Clients describe me as both empathetic and straight-forward.
I am committed to showing up authentically—I am non-judgmental, always curious, and passionate about helping my clients build the life they want.
I grew up in purity culture. The messages I received about relationships, sex, and gender roles were toxic and confusing - especially when I realized this way of thinking no longer fit for me. I was left to navigate sex, sexuality, and relationships on my own and to develop a whole new set of values.
I learned quickly that so many people—regardless of their upbringing—have received confusing, contradictory, and even damaging messages about these topics in the same way I did. These messages impact so much of our lives - it’s no wonder relationships and sex are so hard to navigate.
I am a pre-licensed therapist working under the supervision of a licensed psychologist.
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I care way more about how you argue than what you argue about.
While these details will likely be discussed in therapy, my goal is to get you and your partner to a place of healthy communication and productive conflict resolution, regardless of the topic. Imagine having a full toolbox of communication tools that you can apply to any conversation to help increase intimacy instead of widening the gap between you.
I believe there are a few key things that healthy couples share:
Friendship
Shared meaning
An understanding of each others' inner worlds
Fondness and admiration
Healthy conflict management
I’m passionate about the fact that conflict can deepen intimacy
When we avoid conflict with our partner, we miss out on an opportunity to learn important information about what our partner wants, needs, and desires from us and our relationship. I believe that if we can learn to have healthy conflict discussions, we can deepen the intimacy in our relationships and ultimately strengthen our connections. When we avoid conflict, we’re running from an opportunity to connect.
My philosophy of couples counseling
A safe space to be you.
Never judgmental and always honoring you as the expert of your own life.
I am:
BDSM-, ENM-, and kink-informed
2SLGBTQIA+ and gender-affirming
Body positive and sex positive
Sex work-affirming
Committed to my journey of anti-racism
I work from a feminist and multi-cultural lens, understanding that who you are is made up of many wonderful and complex intersecting identities.
Bachelor of Science in Human Development and Family Studies / Psychology from South Dakota State University
Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology from the University of St. Thomas
Level 1 Gottman Method Couples Therapy Trained by The Gottman Institute
7 Principles For Making Marriage Work Leader Trained by The Gottman Institute
Sex Therapy Certificate from the University of Minnesota
Discernment Counseling Trained Therapist
