Rekindling Intimacy After Children: A Guide for Busy Parents

Becoming parents is a beautiful journey, but it can also put a strain on your relationship, especially when it comes to maintaining intimacy. Many couples in Minnesota find themselves struggling to reconnect romantically amidst the demands of parenting. Here's a guide to help you rekindle that spark:

A young mother and father hold their new baby. They all stand outside in a field at sunset.

1. Prioritize Couple Time

It's easy to let couple time slide when you're focused on your kids. Make a conscious effort to carve out time for just the two of you. This could be a weekly date night, a daily 15-minute check-in, or even a weekend getaway to a nearby Minnesota resort.

2. Redefine Intimacy

Intimacy isn't just about sex. It's about emotional connection too. Small gestures like holding hands, sharing a meaningful conversation, or giving a heartfelt compliment can go a long way in maintaining your bond.

3. Communicate Your Needs

Be open about your desires, concerns, and expectations regarding intimacy. Remember, your partner isn't a mind reader. Clear, honest communication can prevent misunderstandings and frustration.

4. Get Creative with Your Schedule

A mother, father, and daughter stand with outstretched arms, smiling in a row. The daughter is on her father's shoulders.

With young children, spontaneity might be challenging. Try scheduling intimate time, just as you would any other important appointment. It might seem unromantic, but it ensures you're making time for each other.

5. Practice Self-Care

When you're running on empty, it's hard to have energy for intimacy. Make sure you're taking care of yourself with adequate sleep, exercise, and activities that rejuvenate you.

6. Be Patient and Understanding

Remember that your partner is likely feeling the same stresses and exhaustion. Be patient with each other and celebrate small victories in reconnecting.

7. Seek Professional Help

If you're struggling to reconnect, don't hesitate to seek help from a couples therapist or sex therapist. They can provide strategies tailored to your specific situation and help you navigate this new chapter in your relationship.


Maintaining intimacy after having children is a common challenge, but it's not insurmountable. With effort, communication, and sometimes professional guidance, you can rekindle that connection and even deepen your bond through the shared experience of parenthood.

If you're in Minnesota and finding it challenging to maintain intimacy in your relationship after having children, remember that you're not alone. Many couples face this issue, and there are resources available to help you navigate this transition and strengthen your relationship.

If you’re ready to reach out for couples therapy, you can schedule a free 15-minute consultation here.

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